The search for meaning...

Check out this blog post, it says it all:

http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-dont-want-my-children-to-be-happy.html

Amy

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Kids all home for the holidays...lots of work from now until Dec.25th.
Wishing everybody the happiest of holidays!

Amy

GOTCHA! X 3

Today we celebrate 3 years of having Sarah Ying in our family.  It was one seriously hot and muggy day in Guangzhou when Abby and I went to the Civil Affairs Office to pick her up.  We were stunned when she walked in...Abby's first thought was "that CAN'T be her!"  She was that tiny.  It was frightening.  She had on a dress meant for a baby less than half her age and it was generous.  She couldn't really make eye-contact or chew food or play...but she latched onto me right away and really never looked back.  It wasn't hard to figure out which side her bread was buttered on...and for her, that meant everything.

I remember the first time I ran across the idea of people thinking that adopted children should be grateful to their adoptive families.  I actually laughed.  I think my reply was something like "it is pretty hard for American kids to be sincerely grateful...our culture doesn't much cultivate deep feelings of gratitude."  I am sure I looked at the guy like "you must be kidding!"  I don't think it is the normal thing for an adopted child to feel gratitude for their adoption.  I think it is more likely a sign of how terribly they were treated prior to adoption when they are grateful.  And Sarah Ying is soooooooooooo grateful.  It is really sad.  Though she cannot usually put into words what her life in China was like, she knows it wasn't good.  And she has no trouble telling us she is glad to be here!

So we had a pink cake with candles and we put on party clothes and we blew up balloons (and popped them afterwards) and we all said "Happy Gotcha Day, Sarah Ying!" many times over

...and she said, "THANK YOU!!!!"

Creature Feature

I have a large selection of photos for the creature features now.  Hannah has been making the most of the summer bug season.  Had to choose this truly enormous tomato hornworm though.  We didn't even grow this one on purpose.  I found it when pruning a shrub in our yard...didn't even know tomato hornworms ate anything but tomato plants, but this one did!  Hannah put it in one of her habitats and it ate a few days more and then went under the soil to metamorphose.  We are waiting to see how stupendous the sphinx moth will be!

Catching Up (Again)

Wow.  I have way too many posts that are titled "Catch Up" -indicating what a bad blogger I am.  But, we HAVE been very busy, and my camera DID go to Korea with Moriah, and it is SO very hot that my brain seems to have pretty much been cooked, so...I hope I may be excused just one more time. 
Especially if I promise not to do it again?

So, here is a brief synopsis of our last few weeks...
After Abby's birthday, we decided to try to have some fun but the weather was not cooperative.  Sunday afternoon we finally packed up and headed out into the unknown...tried another of our state's sometimes-not-so-very-fabulous state parks.  This is an on-going quest and we are having a lot of cheap fun with it.  This time we hit Bladon Springs State Park.  A place that was once world famous.  But, today?  Hmmm.  It was so bad it was funny.  About all that is left of this internationally known "watering place" is a few camper hook-ups, a picnic pavillion, a very tired playground and the 4 "springs" (which don't seem to "spring" any more...requiring you to pump if you want to experience this miraculous water...which just smelled like plain old ordinary sulfur water to us.)  Our only regret was that we did not have a container ready to bring some of it home with us. 
Oh well!

Abby tries the pump on one spring.
Josh tries another one...

Hannah thinks the park could use some statuary...                                                                                        

The next week was all about fun stuff like visits to the dentist (for Abby who will soon need to have her wisdom teeth removed) and my yearly check-up with mammogram (wheeee!) and the removal of braces (Hannah has her top teeth showing now...bottoms come off next week when the retainer will be ready) and of course, back to Atlanta to pick up Moriah from her trip to Korea.  Whew!  Somewhere in there the kids saw some movies and went swimming and tried a bunch of fun recipes and enjoyed time with their Nana (who came to babysit while I went to Atlanta -Daddy being unavailable since he is doing his silage chopping these days/farming dawn to dark, and beyond.)

Hannah's top teeth...which we haven't seen in 2 years:

Since Moriah came back, we have been to Pensacola for several days.  There we enjoyed some fun at the beach (not a tar-ball in sight!), saw some more summer movies, swam in the pool at Azalea Trace, did some minor shopping and then traded in our old and very tired van for a much newer and nicer one.  Thanks for helping us out with that Grandad!!!

The kids at Pensacola Beach...water/sky dark due to recent passage of Tropical Storm Bonnie

The next day, snokeling in the bay...lots of cool creatures if you swim out past the sandy bit

Now, we are in the home stretch before school.  Moriah has gone off to visit with friends she won't be seeing again this school year.  Abby is practicing violin and organizing her stuff...her laptop is getting revamped this week.  Hannah is supposed to be practicing vioin, but is mostly just doing her bug-collecting thing and playing way too many video games.  Josh lost his other front tooth.  Sarah Ying finally decided that she could actually swim and has given up all of her flotation devices.  Yeah!
Other highlights from the month of July...it was my altar guild month so I did the flowers for our church (good thing I never wanted a career as a florist.)  I pushed around the paperwork and got the bills paid and most of the dorm room stuff bought for Abby to start at ASFA in just one more week.  I also did the paperwork to get the little kids going on their violin lessons at the University and started looking into adding gymnastics and/or ballet for Sarah Ying who cannot really play the violin due to her special needs issues.  And I did a whole lot of pool maintenance and laundry and cooking and cleaning and shopping and all those other fun things that everybody else is doing, but we are doing here with the heat index at 105. 
Sweat! 
Thank heavens for air conditioning!!!! 

Still ahead:  I have to order up everything for this next homeschool year.  I still haven't gotten the house pressure-washed or painted the front porch columns...though most of the paint has been scraped off of them.  Much to be done to organize things here and get people moved into their respective dormitories and all.  August has 5 scheduled appointments, and Hannah's birthday, the selection of the show cows for this year, the start of music lessons and orchestra programs, and who knows what else...

Onwards and upwards!

Got Change? Be the Change!

Be the change you want to see in the world. -Mahatma Gandhi

Do you have one of these sitting around to catch your pocket change?
We do!  I bet you do, too!
Today we are going to donate it to this family to help with their adoption fees.  They are adopting their 4th special needs child from China ...their second THIS YEAR!  In case you don't know already, adopting is expensive!  Join us in helping this family to bring home their son!
Please pass this along!  Together we can make a real difference!

Birthday Months Begin!

Well, I have had my 6 month break from birthdays and birthday parties/gifts/etc.  So now it's back to work!  For the next 6 months I'll be celebrating atleast 1 family member's birthday every month!

Abby turned 14 on the 14th.  She wasn't feeling too good that day though, so we had her birthday cake the next day at tea time. 

(Excuse the rather odd photo...it was taken with one of the children's toy cameras. My camera is on vacation in Korea.  Took me several days to find the right cord to download this.)


She isn't too much into stuff these days, so getting her a gift isn't easy.  So we just went with the simple way out and gave her a Barnes & Noble gift card.  Then she can get herself what she really wants...books, books and more books!  Definitely our #1 bibliophile! 
 
Wishing my beautiful girl MANY happy returns of the day!
 
Amy

And She's Off!!!!

Just back from taking Moriah to the airport for her trip to Korea.  She was nervous, but excited to see her bio-sister again and meet the rest of the bio-family.  We really appreciated the family inviting her to come...AND paying for the ticket!  Woohoo!

Please keep her in your prayers everybody! She'll be back in 10 days!

No pictures until then...she took my camera since it is better than the one she usually uses.

Amy

Fun for the 4th!

We got invited to the Childer's family 4th of July event near Decatur, AL, so we headed up on Sunday after church.  Not so much of a drive that anybody got too antsy...

We brought some watermelons and this flag dessert and Arvel, Cel, Adam, Dane and their family and friends did the rest. 
It was a feast! 
We all ate too much! 
Arvel does some serious barbecue! 
The kids played and swam and ran all day long.  Then there was a WILD and CRAZY fireworks display.  And after that an outdoor movie (Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief) shown on their giant outdoor screen.  The little ones got so tired, we didn't make it all the way through...had to head on to the motel and crash!  It was a fab 4th for sure!

Next morning, we headed out to see some local attractions...
First the Space & Rocket Center at Redstone Arsenal:

We checked out all the cool exhibits...

And rode some scary rides...

And some that weren't so scary...

Then we headed off for lunch and the short drive to Cathedral Caverns State Park.
Here are Jim and the kids at the mouth of the cave:

And here are some shots inside:

Unfortunately, my camera didn't do well with this.  I couldn't hold it still enough to get good pics.  So these don't do the caverns any justice.  But, we all agreed that this was much better than Mammoth Cave National Park where we went last November.  Absolutely awesome formations!  And the paths and lighting were much better as well (wheelchair accessbile!!)  We hiked in about a mile with a tour guide, but then were allowed to wander out at our own pace...no rushing to keep up!  We really enjoyed having the extra time to enjoy the cave and get photos (even my bad photos!)
Josh at the "frozen" waterfalls:

Abby and some stalagmites:

Hannah in the cathedral room...wish this showed how amazing this was:

Here we are heading back out into the 95 degree weather, after almost 2 hours underground at 55 degrees:

This park got a 5 star rating from all of us!!  Totally worth the admission price! 

On the way home, we stopped off to visit Jim's dad in Birmingham.  He is at Lakeshore Rehab following knee-replacement surgery.  He looks to be making a great recovery...expecting him home soon.

Got home just after bedtime for the little ones...catching up on laundry and chores today...and recording the memories from our fun 4th!

Amy

At LAST!!!!

Josh has been hanging on to this front tooth for months.  His baby teeth have been the slowest to come out of all my kids.  He is 8.5 and has only lost/replaced the two bottom incisors so far.  This top incisor had gotten to the point that it was sideways and flopping around, really disgusting - especially since he was so eager to show off how it could twist around, etc.!  Yesterday, he finally got the gumption to pull it out.  You can see the new tooth coming in already.  Don't know why the old one wouldn't let go.  Thank heavens we don't have to look at it anymore though!  Hooray for the tooth fairy!  (Our only incentive for getting rid of those stubborn baby teeth.)

Alabama State Parks: Blue Springs

We decided to cool off a little yesterday...so we went to Blue Springs State Park.  It was awesome!
The springs are huge and look like something from south Florida...or from a movie set...or something.  The water is crystal clear and blue and beautiful and the bottom is white sand.  There are fish swimming around and it is altogether surreal.  The only drawback is that the water is COLD.  Sixty-eight degrees, in fact.  Definitely a refreshing change from our pool, which has gotten to feeling like bathwater since it has been so hot here.  But, quite bracing! 
Here are the members of the polar bear club that got in and swam around all afternoon:

I was a coward and mostly just waded around.  Atleast half of me was nice and cool when we left.  We packed a cooler and had a picnic, so it was definitely a budget-friendly day of fun.

Summertime

Well, it is summertime here for sure.  The weather has been hot, hot and hotter.  It clouds over most afternoons and the humidity is insufferable.  Sometimes it rains and cools things off a bit.  Sometimes it doesn't.  The kids are mostly doing the pool thing these days.  Too hot for much else. 

 

Here is our whole at-home crowd plus cousin Mary, home from college for a brief break:  

And here is Hannah's latest find.  A reddish-brown stag beetle.  It was a pretty big one!  Lately she has come across some impressive and unusual insects, salamanders, snails and also a luna moth.  But I will limit us to this one for now... 

We are already done with our summer camp for this year.  Yeah!  (Oops, did I say that out loud?)  The girls went to Stringfellows Camp in Montgomery, AL again this summer.  (Abby's 3rd and last time, Hannah Claire's 2nd.)  Most of the bigger music camps are for older kids.  Abby is still just 13 and Hannah Claire, 11 so they can't go to the big camps yet.  They had fun on the campus of Huntingdon College, though.  Not too far away and not too long for it to be a good time for everybody.  They are in the 3rd row on the left end:

 

Usually, we would have been to the beach several times by now.  But, I haven't had the heart to go down this year.  The kids want to keep trying to find a few days when the oil isn't too bad and go down to Santa Rosa Island and swim on the sound side (not the ocean side - as pictured in our big family photo above.)

Otherwise, our summer has been about hanging out at home.  Eating fresh berries, watermelons and veggies from Gram's garden, watching our corn and soybeans grow, keeping cool as much as possible. 

 I have just about completed all our paperwork for our foster care license (not much compared with a foreign adoption dossier!)  And I am working hard to find just the right car to buy...our trusty van being not so trusty anymore.  I had hoped to get the kitchen floor replaced and the porch columns painted, but I am really going to have to get moving to get that done, too.  Just a few more weeks and Hannah goes back to the orthodontist to get her braces off.  Then Moriah is heading to Korea for 10 days, then a few weeks after that Abby has to move into the ASFA dorms and a few weeks later Moriah will be moving into the UAB dorms and then the little kids will be back at school and doing lessons in Tuscaloosa for another year. 

Summer just gets shorter and shorter!

No Drill, No Spill

AP Photo/Charlie Riedel

Photo Credit: IBRRC


Almighty God, in giving us dominion over things on earth, you made us fellow workers in your creation:  Give us wisdom and reverence so to use the resources of nature, that no one may suffer from our abuse of them, and that generations yet to come may continue to praise you for your bounty;   through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.

(from Prayers for the Natural Order

#41 For the Conservation of Natural Resources

The Book of Common Prayer 1979)

RED LETTER DAY

Tomorrow marks a red letter day for Sarah Ying (but I will be running errands, going to 2 doctors appointments AND having a homestudy visit, so I thought I had better blog about it today.)

Tomorrow marks the day when Sarah Ying will have spent more time in our family than she did in the care of the Dongguan orphanage.

Sarah Ying then

 

She was almost 3 years old when we brought her home.

That is a lot of her life to have lost. 

She really doesn't have memories of it any more.  She has told us some things as the years have gone by, but I truly believe in her case, much of it has disappeared since she had no language and no bond to anyone and so little stimulation that her brain just wasn't developing properly.  Or maybe it just can't retrieve the memories now.  Whichever.  For her, the past is gone.  The few memories she does have are trauma memories.  They are pretty vivid for her (for whom so few memories are ever very vivid.)  She remembers being alone most of the time.  She remembers that the grandfather in the foster home ate all or nearly all of the food and that he occasionally kicked her.  She remembers somebody threw her out a window once.  But, that is about it. 

She has NO happy memories of China at all. 

Not one.

Not even memories of when we came and got her.  She does have pictures of that part of her life, at least...to help her hold on to those moments in some way.

 

In looking back through my blogs for these last 3 years, you can see a definite trend.  We were continually thinking that we had come to a "turning point" with Sarah Ying so now she could move on.  When we got her ears completely cleaned out and her hearing tested normal, we thought her speech would take off.  It didn't.  When we got her parasites completely eliminated we thought her growth would take off.  It didn't.  When we tried each different therapy or program or supplement, we thought her development would take off.  It didn't.  Everything about Sarah Ying has been a slow SLOW steady progression. 

(Major emphasis on the slow.)

She HAS grown...over 8 inches in her years with us. But, there has been no "catch up" growth - she remains in the very low %-iles. 

She HAS learned.  But, it has taken almost 3 years HARD work for her to be able to recognize the upper case and lower case alphabet letters (most of the time.)  She still cannot always name the colors.  She still cannot sing through any songs...not Twinkle Twinkle, not Happy Birthday, not one.  She just cannot remember the words...the tune she has...the words, no. 

After 3 years of speech therapy, she cannot tell a stranger her name, really can't say much of anything that non-family members can understand.  We have had her tested multiple times, had MRI scans of her brain, tried movement therapies at home, used this program or that one and nothing seems to make much difference for her.  Things still creep along at that same excruciatingly slow pace.   And so far, there is no concrete explanation for it.   She doesn't meet the criteria for autism spectrum disorders.  Her IQ tested in the normal range (borderline, but still in the normal range.)  But she definitely has some kind of issue...her extreme iron-deficiency anemia prior to adoption apparently caused her some brain damage.  Her memory is terribly faulty...especially where language is concerned...but even there, she has (so far) not met the criteria for any specific diagnosis.

And without a diagnosis of some kind, we cannot get her any meaningful services from our local rather poor public school system.   They want to say that she doesn't qualify.  So far, all they have provided for her is one school year of articulation therapy.  So we are left to keep homeschooling with things going very very slowly.  She will work and work and work and still not be able to write the letters without a sample...and some of them even with a sample.  Some of them still have to be traced...and a few she can't make even with tracing.   She does a little Suzuki violin program since her brother and sisters do, too.  And after 2 years, she is still playing at the same little song.  And she still can't make it through that song without help.

Sarah Ying now

So, that is where we are today.  Our daughter is healthy and happy and doing well.  She is loved and very well cared for (the spoiled baby of the family, in fact.)  Her "special need" is a total non-issue.  She goes along and gets along and seems thoroughly bonded and completely aware of things around her (not autistic or dissociated.)  So we are at a loss.  She will soon be 6 years old.  But, she looks and acts more like a 3-4 year old.  Still at half her age, developmentally...like she was when we brought her home from China.  She is where I expected her to be after 6 months or so...not almost 3 years later. 
Adoption professionals always tell you that your child will truly "catch up" when they have been in your home longer than they were elsewhere.  We have always laughed at this...our other adopted children caught up long before they had been here for that length of time (even Josh with all his behavior issues!)  But, it just hasn't happened in her case.  And, barring some meaningful discovery in the future, we're not sure it ever will.

10K in 20 Days!!

It isn't too late to take part!
Click on over to Storing Up Treasures and join in with $5 or $10 to help a family complete their adoption.  They are raising 10K in 20 days...and you can win fabulous prizes while helping an orphaned child (or children!) to join their forever families.
So come on!  What are you waiting for?
Just do it!!!!
Click this link:
http://www.storinguptreasures.com/2000/05/10k-in-20-days-we-want-to-bless.html

Amy

Creature Feature

One of Hannah's latest finds ...this click beetle.  We have found some even bigger than this one! 
These are fun for kids to play with...if you press on them, they click! ...snapping themselves to scare you off.  The tiny ones will use the click to turn themselves over when they get stuck upside down.
Their enormous eye spots make them look kind of scary, but they are just your basic beetle.

Graduation!

Moriah graduated from the Alabama School of Fine Arts high school last night.  It was a lovely event in a fab venue, the old Alabama Theatre in downtown Birmingham.  My pictures aren't too great, but we had an awesome time!  So proud of our oldest daughter!

Jim's Mom and sisters were all there, but we couldn't find them in the crush afterward.  So our family photo includes my parents, all of us and our Aunt Sandra and Uncle Richard Gerhardt.

Had to add this other pic that Aunt Sandra took that evening...it is just too cute!

Creature Feature

The other night we had a visitor...this huge polyphemus moth!
I should have put my hand in the photo so you could see this moth was around 5-6" across. 
Next time I will do better!
My kids love insects, bugs, moths, butterflies, snakes, frogs, whatever...so I thought I would make this a regular category in my posts, for you to see what we are living with out here in the boonies.

Another Awesome Performance by the TYO!!

Last night was the final performance for the Tuscaloosa Youth Orchestra.  It was another great success!  They played Grieg's Triumphal March, a Toccata by Girlamo Frescobaldi, The Marriage of Figaro by Mozart and Pines of Rome by Ottorino Respighi.  Absolutely fabulous!  Every bit of it!  (And not just cause my kids were playing!)
This time around, Norman Huynh conducted two pieces and Andy Pettus the other two. 

Norman is a student at UA and he has been working with the TYO this past semester as the assistant conductor.  He does such a great job with the kids!  (Practically a kid himself!) 
I just can't say enough good things about this program!!!
Sooooooo thankful that my girls have the opportunity to take part!

Proud Mama,
Amy